About two years ago, I was playing HappyDiggers TFC server under kikiwora nickname, with quite significant immersion into the development of my city.


Long story in short - I was banned for at least three reasons, as I recall:

  • Implied swearing (First warning)
  • Racism (In the form of a joke, without malicious intent)
  • Arguing with staff to lift the ban, since, at the time, I believed I was not that wrong, at least not enough to get banned (which lead to a permanent ban, conversely). And some questions concerning the rules.



Here's that arguing thread from two years ago.
And here's the only ban list message I've found related to implied swearing.
No ban listed at MCBans


So, in these two years, I have had enough time to rethink my behavior. This issue came to my mind at least trice.


I've read that thread a few times to process what actually happened.


Undoubtedly, I was very aggressive, very toxic, rude, and unjust, and my mind was clouded.
I have had some family and personality problems at that time, leading to emotional instability, which got me troubled even further.
And since I was deeply immersed in my city creation, I perceived this event (as everything else) in a very distorted way and reacted unreasonably.


There were no logical reasons for me to behave in a way I did, bending the rules to justify my incorrect behavior.


Despite me having no malicious intent upon implied swearing and racism cases,
the first one of which was used as a speech figure (I did not realize the problem at first),
and the second one was directed to myself in the form of a joke, without the intention of insulting anyone),
I caused some issues for the server and this forum, literally creating a problem with my own hands and mouth.


Clearly, I should have been punished, and I was punished according to the rules, which I managed to violate a few times.


I'm quite ashamed of a previous version of me.
My behavior was immature, just as my personality at that time.


In these past years, I've made a significant effort to change myself and change my reasoning and perception.
This is not only due to the situation described here, but more for myself and the people who surround me,
so I could move forward to live proudly, and avoid hurting anyone.
I'm still in the process of shaping myself into a form I would find more worthy.


But nonetheless, I'm sure that this kind of situation is not possible for me anymore.


I would like to return to this fantastic community once more If you would be so kind as to allow me back,
thus I humbly ask you to review my story and give me a second chance.


I will accept any decision you'll make as a just one.
However, it would be quite sad for me to be unable to return to this dedicated TFC community I once admired and put a lot of inspiration into, but managed to let it down with such a shame.


P.S.
I'm not quite a native speaker, so please, forgive me mistakes I might have made in this message.
Also, I have had to create this new account solely to write this сonfession message since I'm unable to use my primary account.